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Misinformation is a hot issue right now. Not hotter than climate change of course, because that is literally heating up the earth. Artists such as Neil Young and Joni Mitchell have removed their music from Spotify in protest of Joe Rogan’s podcast, which has come under fire for spreading misinformation about COVID-19. In light of this, we thought, why limit our critique of misinformation to just podcasts?

‘I Am The Walrus’ by The Beatles

The title alone is flagrant misinformation. No member of the Beatles is –  or ever was – a walrus, nor is it possible for humans to become walruses. Other potentially misleading lyrics include: “Sitting on a cornflake” and “I am the egg man.” It is physically impossible to sit on a cornflake without breaking it. I tried it. “I am the egg man” is a response to LSD, whereas, “I’m a man that likes eggs” is a more appropriate chorus.

‘Bad Blood’ by Taylor Swift

There is no such thing as bad blood. Doctors might say your blood has toxins in it or that your blood type is incompatible with others, but they won’t say that you have bad blood. It’s silly to assume that Taylor Swift is a haematologist (she has saved WAY more lives), so our friendly suggestion is to change the lyrics to “Cause baby, now we got blood type AB negative”.

‘I’m Gonna Be (500 miles)’ by The Proclaimers

A human cannot physically walk 500 miles (804.672km) in one go. What’s more concerning is the lyrics say: “Be the man who rolls a thousand miles to fall down at your door.” Rolling a thousand miles is an inadvisable mode of transport, and any doting belle waiting at the other end would find a significantly maimed and bruised body. Lyric change: “I would drive 500 miles.”

‘Livin’ On A Prayer’ by Bon Jovi

Bon Jovi may as well be another disillusioned millennial, because while you can’t afford to live in Sydney, you certainly can’t buy real estate on a prayer. Even if you could, do you register it in the Old System Land Titles or Torrens Title?

‘Achy Breaky Heart’ by Billy Ray Cyrus

It’s called heart disease Billy – and adding a ‘y’ at the end doesn’t make it any less serious.

‘Halo’ by Beyonce

In this song, Beyonce says she can “see” and “feel” a man’s halo. That is not possible. My advice is to get an updated glasses prescription and set lower expectations for straight men. The lyrics should be changed to “I can see your … head”.

‘Summertime Sadness’ by Lana Del Ray

Summertime sadness is not a legitimate medical condition. If Lana is truly afflicted by the weather, for accuracy, she should change the lyrics to: “I got that seasonal, seasonal affective disorder…” which is generally only associated with winter because there is less sunlight. If Lana Del Ray is sad in summer, that’s an undiagnosed condition. Seek medical help.