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A lesson I have learned as a lawyer is that empathy and objectivity are not opposing qualities; rather, they are both essential.

Early in my career, I thought the best way to earn a client’s trust was to show them I truly understood their pain. Whether they were navigating the breakdown of a relationship, grieving a loss, or facing one of the most difficult periods of their lives, I wanted them to know that I felt what they were feeling and understood them. There is value in that.

Clients want to know they have been heard and are more than just another file. Building rapport and trust with clients is a vital part of our role.

Over time, I have realised there is a line between understanding a client’s emotions and allowing those emotions to influence our ability to provide objective advice. The reason a client comes to us is because we can bring a different perspective. We care about the outcome, but we are also able to step back, assess the situation objectively, and provide guidance when emotions make that difficult.

When emotions are high, our role is to provide clarity and pathways. We are the steady voice in the room when a client is overwhelmed with frustration, grief, and anger. We are there to explain to them in simple terms what the law says, to identify realistic outcomes, and to guide clients towards decisions that are in their best interests now and in the long-term. However, that is often easier said than done.

We spend so much time with our clients that it is natural to become invested in their outcomes. We celebrate their successes and feel disappointed by setbacks. However, if we become so emotionally involved that we lose our objectivity, we risk doing our clients a disservice.

Sometimes, being a good lawyer means telling a client something they do not want to hear. It might be that their expectations are unrealistic or that litigation is not the best option. It could be that the law simply does not support the outcome they are looking for.

Those conversations are not easy to have but they are part of our professional responsibility. Clients need a trusted adviser, someone who will listen, understand and provide honest guidance even when it is difficult to hear.

Maintaining this balance is important not only for the client but also for yourself. If we begin to feel responsible for carrying every client’s grief, anger, or anxiety as if it were our own, it becomes difficult to leave it all at work. Over time, that emotional weight accumulates and can result in burnout.

When we become emotionally invested in a matter, it can become difficult to switch off. We find ourselves replaying conversations, carrying a client’s distress and anxiety into our personal lives, or feeling personally responsible for outcomes that are ultimately outside our control.

Maintaining healthy boundaries is an important part of sustainable practice. This can look different for everyone, but some habits can make a difference such as:

  • Taking proper breaks (including stepping away from the desk and taking lunch);
  • Disconnecting from work after hours;
  • Incorporating some kind of exercise into your routine, even if it is just a walk or a quick swim at the beach;
  • Seeking support from colleagues and mentors; and
  • Recognising and reflecting when a matter has become emotionally challenging.

It also means being honest with yourself. If a client’s circumstances are impacting your ability to think clearly, rest properly, or maintain perspective, that is a sign to pause and seek support. It is not a sign that we are failing in our role. Looking after ourselves allows us to continue providing the level of care and judgment our clients deserve.

The goal, in my opinion, is to practice with empathy while preserving enough professional distance to think clearly and advise objectively. Those two qualities complement each other.

Clients deserve lawyers who care about them. Acting with objectivity and professional judgment is not a departure from that care, rather it may be one of the most important ways we can demonstrate it.

Remember that you are never alone. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness, it is part of building a sustainable and fulfilling career.