By Floyd Alexander-Hunt -
Summer is just around the corner, and you know what that means? It’s time to get your beach (corporate) body in shape.
Perhaps you’ve let things slip over winter and failed to exercise your powers for a proper purpose? Maybe you’ve done no veil-lifting so you’re as white as Kirby’s wig? Well, it’s time to head to the beach, stretch your towel out, and put the lie in liability with LSJ’s hottest tips to achieving your dream beach (governing) body.
NB: LSJ acknowledges there is no such thing as an “ideal body”, apart from the one ASIC specifies.
1. Decide whether a public or private beach is for you. Remember, if you go for private, you can’t bring more than 50 shareholder friends.
2. Make sure you do regular skin checks to ensure the board isn’t just old white men.
3. Forget learning CPR – it’s more important you know CSR. Corporate social responsibility is hotter than Manly on a scorcher and will distract people from Royal Commissions.
4. Who doesn’t love a good read at the beach? Why not peruse the 1,662 romantic sections of the Corporations Act? It’s such a page turner!
5. You know the saying: “Put a bikini on and you’ve got … inappropriate workplace attire unless it’s casual Friday.”
6. Swim between the flags or risk punishment by the APRA or ASIC sharks.
7. An ideal body isn’t just about what’s on the outside. Commit to getting to know yourself. Who are you at your core? Are you dictated by a bunch of mandatory rules? Or do you replace them? Maybe it’s time to write your personal constitution.
8. Get creative with the way you take your meetings’ minutes – Instagram counts, right? #sexyseparatelegalpersonality #bikinibodyofmembers #hotgirlsummaryjudgment
9. Make sure your Instagram videos are perfectly shot and edited. These are the directors’ duties that should worry you on the sand.
10. Don’t get burnt. Not even a corporate veil can protect you against UV rays.
11. Sometimes your parent body will want to join you at the beach, but remember there’s nothing more uncool than a shadow director blocking your tan.
12. Can’t decide which beach to go to? Hold a general meeting with your friends, just make sure you convene 21 days before your beach day.
13. Don’t be a judgmental jury at the beach this summer. Remember corporate bodies come in all different shapes and class rights.
14. A common seal might be your friend on a contract, but if you spot one at the beach, RUN!
15. If you’re naughty and want to engage in skinny dipping, ensure you dry yourself off before getting in the car. No one wants your salacious behaviour to be the liquid in compulsory liquidation.
